Poly: Meaning Many

‘poly’: meaning many

I think that “Poly” is the perfect name for my elementary, middle, and high school. A shortened version for the name “Polytechnic”, Poly lived up to its Greek root of many.

I will be completely honest and candid, as I have in the past about my feelings towards Poly. In simple terms, I did NOT like it. Perhaps it was because so much crap in life had happened and because I spent 14 years of my life at this school, there were lots of overlaps between the location of Poly and the crap in my life. Perhaps it was due to the fact that I spent 14 years at this school… I was tired of it, it was monotonous, it was rough. Perhaps it was because I didn’t really fit in, or at least felt like I didn’t. I had friends, I knew a lot of people, I got along with people, but internally, I felt isolated. My grade was a sea of cliques where popularity and “status” maintained a strong presence. Everyone was depressed, everyone was anxious, everyone was alone, but everyone felt this need to pretend that everything was great and no one really talked about the crap that everyone was dealing with. Perhaps I got tired of how fake the school felt was. The lack of authenticity - whether that be in friendships, relationships, feelings, experiences, life left me feeling like I knew no one, but at the same time no one really knew me.

Poly… many. There are many things that I could say about this school. There are many things that I could say about my experiences there. There are many things I could complain about. There are many things I am grateful for. But today, I realized there are so many things that I have learned. Tonight I went with my friend Mckenzie to her senior dinner thing at Poly. Honestly, I kind of just wanted free food. I was wearing a Flintridge Prep Cross Country sweatshirt (our rival) and had only the intention of popping in, grabbing a taco, and leaving. Being my father’s daughter, however, I got to talking - for about an hour and a half… whoops!

I never thought I would say this, but I realized that I kind of had a longing for this place. Not missing, but a longing and not the school, oh most definitely NOT the school. But the people. The teachers. The things that I learned outside the classroom (and the things inside the classroom too… obviously!) There were so many things that this school gave me. I ignored those gifts, partially because I was too immature to turn away from the negative and pessimistic and angry millennial complaining nature I had so easily adopted, but also because after spending 2 years out of Poly it’s like those gifts gained at Poly magically became useful and apparent! Wonderful! I spent 14 years at that school (with a little break for jetting off to France for a year (we know how that turned out!))… that’s longer than some marriages! I grew up there. In elementary school, I spent everyday after school sitting at my mom’s computer playing Webkinz and watching the high school girls’ soccer practice, wondering if I would ever be as tall as they were, and thinking high school was some heaven-nirvana blend where everything would be GREAT! I spent middle school hanging out in the debate room, never quite learning what pro or con was arguing (thank God I’ve learned by now), or trying to learn the rules of 4-square so my brace-faced self could play with some boys that would never find me attractive. I spent high school in my dad’s office - having moved up a campus. I hung out with friends on the brick patios that were scattered across our upper school. I watched relationships form, friendships fall apart, personalities change, and people grow. SO much of my life was centered around Poly. Poly spanned across many aspects of my life. For each memory, I can think of 10 more. Poly was a second home but with that, I could NOT wait to leave. It’s cheesy, but every little bird must leave the nest at some point. You know the feeling, home, while it’s home, can feel cramped and old and boring and you just wonder what else is out there. That’s how it was with Poly. I grew up there. The teachers were my other parents - they wrote me letters, came to my events, and we got coffee. They let me sit in their office and cry, read my blogs, visited me in treatment and me? Well I shat on the school.

Going to that dinner tonight was a HUGE pendulum shift for me. Who would’ve thought that spending an hour and a half at a dinner would bring up that kind of nostalgia?! I saw the teacher that inspired my love of writing and reading. I talked to the teacher who instilled in me my franco-phile-ism, who brought me smiles in laughs while I was in treatment, who to this day is still one of my biggest supporters. I caught up with the woman who raised my best friend and always provided a safe space for me to be me. I talked to the teacher who instilled in my sister and I a passion for film and creating. I chatted with one of the strongest women I know, who got me into college, who took time for my many questions, who got to know me better than I know myself. I saw old friends who I ran around with at cross country meets, who have taken me up on late night drives or random baking sessions. These people… so many people have contributed to who I am today. They have added so much to my life, my interests, my passions, my growth, my recovery, who I am.

SO many people.

SO many memories.

SO many lessons.

SO many gifts.

Poly is quite literally its root of many. I didn’t recognize until way after the fact the many things that it gifted me. I couldn’t imagine my life without the people that I’ve come to know because of Poly - I’ve tried but only blanks come up. I’ve tried to imagine my life without the unique experiences that Poly gave me - travels to Cuba, France, and Nicaragua, a platform for sharing struggles with mental health, a space to jump into different activities, a stage big enough for my actress ego and directors who encouraged and trained me (just kidding, I’m not a narcissist hehe!) - I can’t imagine my life without this because my life without this wouldn’t be my life. Because while Poly was hard, while Poly was painful, while Poly came with trials, while I wouldn’t ever wish to go back, I am thankful for the “many-s” The many people. The many experiences. The many lessons - in and out of the classroom. The many memories that it has gifted me. The many strengths that it has built up in me.

I am thankful for those “many-s” I am thankful for a school living up to its name - literally :)