Can I Call Myself a "Writer"?

I wonder sometimes if I have the right to call myself a “writer”. I feel like there is so much weight that comes with that title - if it even is a title. People such as Barry Jenkins, Shel Silverstein, Stephen King, JK Rowling, Virginia Woolf etc. can call themselves writers. Writing is their craft, words are their expressions and people know their words. But if only your mom, dad, and best friend read your work, can you really call yourself a writer? I wonder what it truly means to be a writer. Is there one concrete definition that exists? dictionary.com says that being a writer is, “a person who has written a particular text” Well that really narrows it down! I have written things, but does that make me a writer?

I believe that writing as a profession is comparable to being a doctor or lawyer or teacher. It is what you pursue, what you spend your days doing, what you are paid to do. But can you be a writer without your profession as “writing”? I think so.

From a young age I have loved to tell stories. I also absorb stories like a sponge. After my parents turned out the light for bed time and closed the door, I waited until l heard their footsteps turn away from my door and down the hallway. I then clicked on my flashlight and opened up my latest book - typically reading for two or three hours. The story was exciting. My imaginative head filled with dreams of magical lands and far away places that before this book had seemed impossible to exist, but in my head and through these words, came to life.

Sharing stories and actually writing them down didn’t take a precedent in my life until fairly recently. In all of my English classes we did analytical writing, so I thought writing was an analytical game of citing act and scene numbers from Shakespeare and identifying literary devices in Steinbeck’s sea of words. I wondered where the books of my childhood, highlighted by my Winnie the Pooh flashlight, that carried my mind into its imaginative sphere disappeared to. I lost the entire point of “story” when I felt forced to try and find the meaning. I think that’s the difference between my childhood and teenage self. As a child, I never tried to find the meaning of the story, I just imagined the possibilities behind it. As a teenager, I was so wrapped up with getting the answer that I never gave my imagination a chance to see the story in the words. In English classes I felt like a foreigner as my classmates found symbolism in the color of the mountains and its representation of the characters’ depression or recognized the use of metaphors to highlight the character’s disconnect from society. All I saw was a story and in it there was meaning, but the meaning to me was so different from what was pointed out in class. My favorite book in the world is East of Eden by John Steinbeck. All 608 pages of that book blew my mind (well, the first 88 pages describing Salinas Valley did get a little repetitive after a while). I understood the metaphors and the symbolism. I understood the analogies to the Biblical texts of Genesis. I understood the themes of love, guilt, freedom, and struggling for acceptance. But I saw it as a story, with humans and life experience rather than simply a collection of literary devices.

I think because of the way I read, I so often question the way I write. I believe that writing and reading go hand in hand. If you want to be an actor you have to watch film and theater. If you want to be a lawyer you have to study the successes and losses of cases. If you want to be a surgeon you have to understand the procedure by watching and doing. If you want to write, I believe that reading is a huge key to that. Reading is the absorption of the stories, thoughts, ideas, and imaginations of others all wrapped up into one. Books are there for us to absorb. Call me old fashioned but holding a book is one of the most peaceful (and powerful) things you could do. The pages hold so many secrets and surprises. The words can take up hours of the day and space in your mind. Books are magical.

But what credits ME as a writer? Is it the fact that I love it so much? I love looking at art but trust me I am NOT an artist. I love football but it would be so embarrassing (and probably very dangerous) to put me on a football field. I love traveling but I couldn’t call myself a traveler, as I only do it “casually”. So is it fair for me to say I am a writer? Honestly, I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying that yet, as a matter of fact I would feel dishonest. I would love to one day say I am a writer and not question the truth in it but right now writing is a passion rather than a vocation.

I feel as if there are aspects of myself that align with aspects of writers. I see a story in almost everything I encounter. My life is one of stories - from small interactions with a cashier in a grocery store all the way to birds pooping on my head as I walk down the streets of New York City (an unfortunately common experience). And those stories don’t just exist in my head they make their way onto paper and weave themselves into conversations with my friends. I daily text my mom or my friends, “Want to hear a funny story?!” and then I type out a paragraph long text bubble of the latest crazy thing that happened in my life. I like to see every perspective and work those ideas into my stories and the conversations of my characters. And my characters aren’t just characters they are humans - my friends and family, strangers I have observed but feel that I have come to know.

My stories and words are a conversation - topics flowing from one to the next. Casual dialogue in a person’s own mind and heart or a philosophical conversation between two unlikely friends in a coffee shop. My words are my life. They hold so much power and emotion and when combined into sentences they create - meaning, emotion, love, memories, adventures. Do I have that capability to create and therefore call myself a writer?

I write. I can happily and confidently say that “I write” but when does the shift from action to adjective occur? I don’t know, to be completely honest. I write, but I am not a write-r. It’s that extra “r” (and the “am”) that change the entire meaning behind the 2 or 4 worded sentence. “I write” vs. “I am a writer” It’s weird how words that are so similar can mean something so different. Saying one can be the truth and the other a complete lie. One is an activity in your free time and one can be the most prevalent aspect of your life.

I also think there are many people out there who call themselves writers and they really have no right to… maybe that’s why I am so hesitant to slap that title on myself. I don’t want to be something that I have no basis for being or no justification for doing. I read works by some writers and think, “There’s no WAY this person can be a writer!” But I’m sure some people will read (or do read) my works and think the same thing. I think that’s another hard thing about the title of “writer” When you are a doctor you are a doctor. There is an entire series of tests, schooling, and information you have to learn before you can earn that title, but once you earn it, there is minimal room to debate it (there’s always malpractice suits… but that’s a whole different story) But with writing, there is no specific order of things you must do or an established checklist, rather is it one work or a thousand, or any number in between, that gives you the right to call yourself “a writer”?

Another question comes up with this - you can be a writer, but are you a “good one”? I don’t know if there is a for sure answer for this in any profession. Doctors, teachers, lawyers, and accountants all earn those titles, but some are considered good and some are not. The other complication is that these views are subjective. Someone might like a doctor that is impersonal but incredibly knowledgeable about the anatomy of the brain and gets straight to the point. Others might want a doctor that will spend time with you and get to know you as a person, not just your brain anatomy. So even if you reach the moment that you can say, “I am writer” the next question to be asked is, “Am I a good writer?”

There will always be people that don’t like you or your writing. My best friend can’t stand Harry Potter, but JK Rowling is a billionaire and Harry Potter as a whole - the books, the films, the musicals, the theme park rides etc. is a multi-billion dollar brand. That’s successful, in a traditional definition. Everyone knows Harry Potter. Rowling has penned at least 27 books, and they have been read by millions of people. Yet, I still know many people who don’t like her writing. By the masses she may be considered a “good writer” but to some individuals she is just a writer. It’s a rough vocation to pursue, writing that is. A lot of people are going to chew you up and spit you out and call your piece a piece of crap. But there will also be a lot of people are going to read your words, feel your thoughts, and see your story. They will identify with the characters, relationships, and emotions weaves together to create a type of narrative. While writing is different from being a writer, writing is the only thing that can lead to becoming a writer.

So if you want to be a writer, write. There is no concrete definition of “being a writer” so put the words on paper and create your own definition. A big part of me gets so caught in “writing right” that I never actually get words down on the paper. Time after time I open up a word document or unwrap a blank notebook and write a sentence… then delete it and then another sentence… and delete it. So on and so forth and I quite literally get nowhere. Before the words are even on the page, I am critical of every thought or idea that enters my mind. In a class last week, we read a letter from the artist Sol LeWitt to his artist friend Eva Hesse. The entire letter jumped off the page and screamed LISTEN. UP. SHAE!!! (I’ll include a link to the letter at the bottom) But a few quotes jumped off the page, slapped me across the face, and splashed some water on my head and said “HELLLLOOO!” The premise of LeWitt’s letter is essentially talking to her about how harsh she is towards herself and her work.

“And stop worrying about big, deep things such as ‘to decide on a purpose and way off life, a consistent approach to even some impossible end or even and imagined end’ You must practice being stupid, dumb, unthinking, empty. Then you will be able to DO”

Alright Sol, spit some wisdom for us! Because I’m a (diagnosed!) bipolar little biotch, my mania loves to hop in, come up with some grandiose idea, and say, “Alright Shae, we have to become famous by next week and publish a novel and be in a movie and… and… and…” Ok, wow, lots of pressure! I so often forget to take a step back and realize that in order to create something great, you have to create a whole lot of crap. Also, in order to create in general, you have to get some words on the page, so my whole process of "delete everything” doesn’t really work out in my favor! I so appreciate how Sol advocates the creation of absolute trash, because so often that’s what I feel like my work is.

“Try to do some bad work - the worst you can think of and see what happens but mainly relax and let everything go to hell - you are not responsible for the world - you are only responsible for your work - so DO IT! And don’t think that your work has to conform to any preconceived form, idea, or flavor. It can be anything you want it to be”

Ahhh Sol, got me tearing up over here! One of the reasons that I am so hesitant to call myself a writer is the majority of the time I read my reading I think, “BLEHHH!!!” But Sol’s words have helped me realize that this is all just a process. The bad work is key to creating the good work. All of the published authors have written draft upon draft upon draft. They edited and re-edited and re-re-edited. Writing is a process - I learned that in 5th grade! That process however isn’t always linear. I hit writer’s block more often than I’d like and sometimes I feel as if my writing isn’t for me or of me. So thank you dear Sol, for your wisdom and perspectives on creating.

To be a writer is different for everyone. There is no shape or form you have to mold yourself to, rather you just have to write and you just have to DO!

Sol LeWitt’s wise words to Eva Hesse (also check out their artwork it’s PHENOMENAL!)

https://jwvpk.wordpress.com/2009/03/10/letter-from-sol-lewitt-to-eva-hesse/